control freaks

Control Freaks

In my last article, I discussed some divine differences between men and women. You can find it here. Go ahead and take a peek at it before you read on so we can continue our discussion. I’ll be waiting for you right here . . .

The Original Design

During creation, when God caused the deep sleep to come over Adam and created a counterpart for him (Genesis 2:21-25), God took one of Adam’s ribs to fashion the woman (Eve). The original intent was for man and woman to be two parts of a whole. They were to complement each other, not compete against each other. But then, the Fall of man happened and a very interesting thing was said by God in the curse given to Eve as a result of the Fall.

In Genesis 3:16, He said “your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you.” You see, from that point on, man was the head and woman was led by him.  Woman will always want to be in a role that isn’t her own. That’s what it means when it says “your desire will be for your husband.” It’s a desire for her husband’s place; a desire to be in control.

Control at Any Cost

This is where culture stands today for women. We have indulged the desire to be in control and placed ourselves in headship over men. This is why we see stupid, goofy husbands who can’t think for themselves portrayed on the sitcoms we watch. We have “told” men by our actions that they aren’t needed or important anymore and we can do just fine without them, thank you very much.

And women, as a whole, are miserable for it. Am I saying that a woman’s only noble job is homemaking and child-rearing? Absolutely not. But if we are married with children, homemaking and child-rearing should be our priority. If it can’t be our priority because our job prevents that from happening, then maybe we shouldn’t be working outside the home or maybe we need a different job, but that’s between each woman and her Lord.

Distinct Roles

We have very distinct roles as women and we would do well to embrace those roles. I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating. Our roles don’t define us. We are defined by the Holy Spirit working in and through us for the glory of the God who created us.

If we, as women, would simply allow our husbands their place as leader, we would start to become so much more fulfilled by filling our own divinely inspired roles. And our husbands would be better for it, too. Our marriages would become stronger, and our children would learn by our example what a good marriage looks like and how to have one for themselves when they seek a spouse.

Mistakes Become Lessons

None of this has been an easy concept for me. I am a very strong woman by nature. I have torn my husband down many times over the years and I have seen the damage my own will to control can cause. I’m not proud of it, but I have learned from my own behavior in light of the truth of God’s Word.

Because of Christ, I am equal with, yet different from, my husband, and that’s something to celebrate! We are both co-heirs of the grace of God. (1 Peter 3:7) We both receive God’s redemption, are in the process of sanctification, and will one day be glorified by God in the same way. We just have different roles to play while here on earth. When we stay in our own lanes and do things the way God designed them, we are fulfilled and at peace.

But when we choose our own way and listen to the noise of our culture telling us that God’s way is the wrong way, we become angry, combative, and confused. God has given us the perfect pattern of headship in His Word. (Ephesians 5:22-33) Why not choose His way? Let’s effect change in our culture by being so counter-cultural that we get noticed for being different.

Then, when we’re asked why we’re so different, let’s point the culture to the God we serve. Let’s use God’s design for the role of women as a conversation-starter for the gospel of Christ. Perhaps our obedience will draw others to Christ.

An Opportunity for the Gospel

This is what I did that day in the doctor’s office. Did I lead the doctor to Christ right then and there in the hallway? No. But I planted a seed of the gospel in a conversation. That’s what being a Christian is really all about. Talking to people about our Lord. Every. Chance. We. Get. . . . even when it appears we might have three heads to the general population. Be weird for Jesus. It’s okay, and it’s really rewarding.

Have you struggled to embrace your distinct role as woman in today’s culture? How have you found ways to be the woman God designed you to be before your sphere of influence? How can we as a Christian community of women do better in these areas? Share your thoughts in the comment section.

The Glory of God changes everything


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