A Fairy Tale
“When you wish upon a star…makes no difference who you are, when you wish upon a star your dreams come true…”
Once upon a time there was a nineteen-year-old “knight-in-shining-armor” who married a very naive seventeen-year-old “princess.” The knight went off to war and left the young princess to cultivate a home for when he would return.
Not like many young people today who think they have to have a home like their parents and decorate it with the same luxury items and modern equipment they were raised with, this couple began with a tiny one-room converted bedroom at the end of a large Georgia-style southern home. In this one room was a tiny kitchen and very tiny bathroom. This was the little “home” she had to create for her sweetheart.
For recreation, they would pool their money after cashing his paycheck and play poker. There was no extra money for outings, no TV, no car to go for an evening drive. Although very poor, they had a lot of fun together. He went off to work each day to learn a skill for providing for his family. She stayed home and cleaned their little one room “home” from top to bottom. They were very happy.
A Light Came On
As in many fairy tale stories, life soon became real and the day-to-day living in the miry clay began to catch up with this young couple. They grew further and further apart. In his eager, ambitious drive to provide he became inattentive, unkind, and quick in his request and responses.
He began to work longer and longer hours and she was left alone evening after evening to care for the little ones. Because she was alone so much she began to make major decisions and do things her way. She was a first-born who knew her role well and enjoyed being in charge. She had raised her two younger sisters and she was capable of leading now.
She obtained her real estate license and proved to herself that she was worthy and could do something for herself. He didn’t say much. He seemed proud of her accomplishments and drive to succeed. The little real estate office near them was happy to house her framed license on their wall.
One day driving home from her busy promising career, she found herself talking to herself (they say it’s okay to talk to yourself as long as you don’t argue with yourself). She asked a very important question out loud. “What am I doing?” It was as if a light came on in her head as she role-played what was happening. She had worked hard and accomplished a major goal. Why wasn’t she happy? Why was she worried? Where was the joy? She loved being a wife and mother. She enjoyed caring for her home and reading to her little ones. She began to think about the many things she had experienced by being home with her little ones. Why was she leaving the home and leaving them to pursue a very selfish goal for self pleasure?
Bringing the car to a screeching halt, she reversed and drove down to the little real estate office and told them she had changed her mind. She didn’t want to pursue this after all. She wanted to be home with her little ones and care for her home. She wanted to be a wife again. So much time had gone by. So many words had been said. Where to begin.
At the end of my rope, I searched for meaning and found it in God’s Word. He has wonderful instruction on how to be a wife. With my new revelation, one of the things that had to happen was I had to back track and start listening to my husband again. I found an older woman to disciple me, and I began to grow. As I began to submit to his leadership, our little family became joyful. He began to ask my opinions and to help him make decisions. He asked me to travel with him on occasion. Life was sweeter than I ever could have imagined. I was experiencing joy. I was learning contentment and was very excited in my role as wife and mother and homemaker. Through this discipleship relationship I began to understand what real submission was. Such freedom. Such joy.
Submission operates in almost every phase of our lives. The government of every country operates through the head — the President, or Prime Minister, or Chancellor, King or Queen in a position of final authority with much of the actual spheres of authority being delegated to those who work under him. Laws are made by those given the authority to do so and those under the reach of that law, submit themselves to the law. The church operates the same way. We have elders who exercise authority and members who abide by their decisions. Every committee has a leader/authority, someone in charge. Submission is not being a doormat or being inferior spiritually, physically, or intellectually.
• Submission has nothing to do with inferiority or superiority.
• One is not better than another.
• Submission is not being passive.
• Submission is not putting our minds in neutral, seemingly having no ideas/thoughts or opinions.
• Submission is a heartfelt belief that God’s greatest good for us lies in accepting and living the
whole role He has for us under authority.
• Submission is a belief.
• We know who is really the authority.
• Submission is learning early to give our all to our authority so he can make wise decisions.
• Submission is active not passive.
Our husbands will make mistakes. We all do in our learning and growing but if allowed to learn from mistakes, they probably won’t make the same mistake twice.
God designed woman to correspond to the man — to be his complement.
• 1 Peter 3:1,5,6
• Titus 2:5
• Colossians 3:18
• Ephesians 5:22,24,33b
Each of these verses tell wives to submit to their own husband. Not the neighbor’s husband, not a brother, not anyone else’s husband but one’s “own” husband. I use the word “fit.” Wives are to fit into their husbands’ ways. Such freedom. Such blessing. Such example to our children and neighbors. There is a joy in marriage that will bring glory to God.
May you enjoy “fitting.” I do. If you have any question, don’t hesitate to write.