turning chatter into Godly conversation

Turning Chatter into Godly Conversation: Condemnation or Conviction?

Practically Living out the Solution:

Ladies, do I see opportunities with other women to catch up on the latest fashion trends, critiquing the contestants in the latest singing or dancing contest on television, or do I gladly see them as opportunities to “teach what is good”? Paul warned the Ephesians “empty chatter could lead to further ungodliness” and we see him warning the women of Crete (and us) to not be slanderers…the antithesis of what is good. Actually, slanderer is the same word used for the devil… NOT. GOOD.

So, what is good, you might ask?

Paul tells us specifically here…

“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands…” (Titus 2:3-5).

By God’s grace and the good news of Jesus Christ, we are called to use our conversations to benefit and give life to other women in the following areas of life:

  • loving and submitting to our husbands,
  • loving our children
  • self-control
  • purity
  • home life
  • kindness

If we meditate on and practice what is good, then we will want to share what is good, rather than participate in idle chatter or malicious gossip. Paul tells us there is a crucial reason for this…

“that the word of God may not be reviled”  (Titus 2:5).



The words we choose to speak when spending time with other women is ultimately for the glory of God and His Word — not in having picture-perfect families and homes that look like the cover of the latest popular home magazine. Nor are our conversations to reflect the other extreme, of just talking to fill dead air space with meaningless conversations that might lead to sinful gossip or slander.

Vicki’s Progression

We read about Vicki’s predicament in my last article … While Vicki’s brunch was not what she expected, the Holy Spirit gently brought conviction within her heart! God was using this disappointment to grow her…to sanctify her. He was working it for her good and His glory (Romans 8:28).  Vicki’s first inclination was “never again will I put this kind of effort into these women. It is just not worth it!” And then came…the conviction… she began to recall to her mind conversations she had heartily partaken in that could have been so much more beneficial and edifying. She was ready to allow her expectations of others to bring her own heart to defeat and sin, yet overlook her own!

But when she quieted her heart and her emotions, she realized two things. First, she has been just as guilty as her dear sisters in not always using conversations with women for redemptive purposes. To put her sisters in Christ in a place of condemnation when she had done the same thing herself countless times would be sinfully hypocritical. Instead, Vicki chose to show the love of Christ by not taking this wrong suffered into account and overlook it in gentleness, patience, and love…the love Christ shows her daily when she sinfully falls short of glorifying Him in her thoughts and conversations.

Vicki also learned that she needed dig deep in the well of God’s goodness and wisdom  to be more effective in sharing with women “what is good” on a regular basis. She got excited, and saw it as a personal challenge to grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord and be “that woman” who would do more consistently what she had desired to take place at the brunch…proclaim His excellencies in everyday life…come alongside women with words that are “fitly spoken.”

A word fitly spoken

is like apples of gold in a setting of silver (Proverbs 25:11).

Truths to Ponder and Apply…

  • Do my words bring the grace and life of the Gospel to my sisters in Christ (Philippians 1:29)?
  • Am I intentional in my thoughts, making sure the words I speak (or post on social media) are appropriate for whatever the occasion is?

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29).

  • Have I examined what I am treasuring in my own heart before I speak heart to heart with another woman?

“The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45).

I am so grateful for the amazing, godly women who obeyed Scripture and poured these good things into my life through their example and godly conversations. I needed their help, their encouragement, their advice, their grace, wisdom and love. By the way, I still do! I hope you can say you have been the recipient of a Titus 2 relationship. If not, don’t look back in defeat…instead, look to the kindness of God! It’s not too late to begin NOW by becoming the woman that chooses conversations that are good…that are God honoring. Before long, you will find yourself speaking what is good, beautiful, commendable, honorable and right to women for your Savior!

While I know I fall woefully short, I am thankful for the Lord’s new mercies every morning. We have been given grace upon grace upon grace! Let’s open our mouths to teach what is good!

I was reminded of an oldie but goody this week…

“Take my life and let it be

Consecrated, Lord, to Thee…

Take my lips,  that they may be

Filled with messages from Thee!

Take myself, that I may be

Ever, only, ALL for Thee.

Ever, only, ALL for Thee!”

(Frances R. Havergal)

The Glory of God changes everything


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