recurring battle with fear

My Recurring Battle With Fear

As I am preparing to write this blog post, I am also preparing for my three-month check-up. I will soon be sitting in the oncologist office to be poked and prodded. My blood will be drawn; pictures and scans will be taken. All to make sure the cancer is still at bay. This is the life of a stage 4 cancer survivor. This is my life.

Recurring Fear

Most days I function pretty much like everyone else, but as the time nears for my visit with the doctor I start feeling a knot in my gut. I bet many of you have felt that strange sensation. It doesn’t necessarily have to come from the “C” word, but it can come with anything that is accompanied by fear.

“Do not fear for I am with you, do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God, I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).

I have already lived longer than many would have expected (maybe longer than I thought myself). I remember thinking stage 4 cancer was an automatic death sentence. I am here to let you know it is not. At least it is not automatic; I will eventually die.

I may die of this cancer or something totally unrelated; only God knows. After being told “You have cancer,” I now understand Philippians 4:7, “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” I have experienced this peace first hand.

4 Truths to Fight Fear

However, I can also testify that fear can run rampant. It truly is based upon what thoughts I feed. If I allow the doctor’s opinions or the statistics to fill my mind, then fear comes charging in.  When I take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ and I remind myself of these things, peace fills my soul.

  • God’s Word — As for God, His way is perfect: The Lord’s Word is flawless; He shields all who take refuge in him (Psalm 18:30).
  • God’s Promise — I am leaving you with a gift — peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid (John 14:27).
  • God’s Love — For great is His love toward us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever (Psalm 117:2).
  • God’s Purpose — And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).

The truth doesn’t change — I am a cancer survivor. What can change is how I choose to view the facts. Do I view them through the lens that says “woe is me,” or do I see them as sifting through the hands of a loving God?

A Win-Win Situation

Every day I have the choice to get up and dread the “what if’s” or say, “Thank you, Lord, for this day. Use me anyway you choose to bring you glory.” I find when my doctor’s appointment starts to draw closer I have to dig a little deeper to do the latter. But I can’t dig deeper into my resources; I have to dig deeper on my knees. I don’t have the ability to make the fear go away, but I know the One who does so I cry out to Him and He hears my cry.

“This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him” (1 John 5:14-15).

I don’t know if I will fight this fear battle every three months for the rest of my life or not, but what I do know is that I will not fight it alone.

Dear ladies, are you fighting a fight alone? Are you wrestling with a fear that just keeps tying you up in a knot? I want you to know you do not have to go into that fighting match alone. If you have placed your faith in Jesus Christ, He goes before you. We are already victors in Him no matter the opponent.

My daddy shared with me many years ago when he was sick and near death, “Honey I am in a win-win situation I cannot lose. If I get to live I will enjoy life with you all, if I die I get to go and be with my heavenly Father.”  These words from my daddy put things in perspective for me as I fight this battle. My question for you is — are you in a win-win situation?

The Glory of God changes everything


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